The nurse weighed and measured Cooper's height and then took his blood pressure. If she had taken my blood pressure at that moment she may have admitted me into the hospital for observations. After she was done we waited in a tiny room as I tried not to think about how hungry I was. As Paul and Cooper walked up and down the hall, I tried to sneak a few bites of my granola bar. Another nurse came back and explained the sedation procedure and then... the dreaded moment arrived. The IV needle. I know how I feel about needles, and I'm 31 years old. I was just imagining what was going to happen to my little boy. All the confusion of not understanding what was going on and why someone was sticking a needle in his hand and why he was feeling pain and oh why are my mommy and daddy letting this happen. The nurse told Paul to give Cooper a big hug and hold him tight as she cleaned his little hand and then put the needle in. The nurse who was really friendly and nice, explained to Cooper everything she was doing because he looked a little wide-eyed and terrified. The moment finally came and went and to my surprise not a peep out of Cooper! The nurse was just as surprised as Paul and I. I was so proud of Cooper at that moment! I am so proud of my little boy for being SO BRAVE and not crying at all. I was so proud I wanted to cry tears of joy. I couldn't stop telling him what a good boy he was for being so brave. The only thing Cooper did when the nurse was done was point to his hand all bandaged up and say, "owe." It melted my heart. I wanted to cry because I was so proud, happy and sad all at the same time.
The worst was over and now we had to wait for our turn. I love children's hospitals because they are always prepared with a variety of ways to entertain even the fussiest little children. We were lucky enough to find an Elmo video. With his Happy (aka pacifier) in his mouth, Gragg, the giraffe and blanket in his arms, we happily watched the Elmo video in peace and quiet. Thank you Elmo and to the nice people who brought Elmo to the hospital.
When it was finally our turn to go back to the MRI room Cooper began to get a little fussy. Cooper and daddy sat in a chair and the nurse gave Cooper some sedation medication into his IV. It was in a really big syringe and Cooper just stared at it. After a few seconds Cooper began to get heavy-eyed and sleepy. And of course, just like at home, he fought going to sleep. I never expected to feel so emotionally upset at this moment. My little boy was trying with all his might, fighting with all his energy to stay awake and all I could do was encourage him to go to sleep. I felt awful because all he could say was no, no, no and there was nothing I could do about it. Paul seems to think he was feeling dizzy and possibly some new and unexpected feelings and didn't like it one bit. That was the worst moment of our lives with Cooper thus far. To see your little boy fighting so hard and knowing there is nothing you could do to stop it was the worst unexplainable feeling I've ever felt. I felt helpless. The nurse gave Cooper an additional medication and then he was out. Thank goodness it was over! As Paul and I sat in the wait area in our rocking chairs we just stared at each other. Not really knowing what to say but feeling the exact same thing. When the moment passed we finally decided we should eat. Luckily we brought a few things to snack on so we didn't starve. The one thing we neglected to bring was something to do. Even though the nurse was able to find some magazines for us to read, or rather pretend to read, while our minds raced on with thoughts of Cooper, there wasn't a moment of silence. We tried to talk about our upcoming vacation and such, as our eyes kept peering over to look at the clock on the wall. Finally!! The MRI was complete. Out comes our little boy sleeping looking so peacefully. His long hair was swept around by the drafty air. We just knew it was our Cooper coming towards us. All I wanted to do was give him a big hug and kiss but the nurse laid him in the crib and I calmly sat in my rocking chair.
It was just after 9 am and the nurse said if he wasn't awake by 10:30 we could try to wake him. We weren't the only family in the room. There was another little girl sleeping the room a few beds down, both mom and dad sitting at her bed side. To me she looked about 6 or 7 years old but Paul thought she was 4. Really 4? I guess it's because I work with children and can now some times guess age based on the size of the child. These parents seemed much more calm than we did, like they'd done this before and it was really no big deal. As we sat there I wondered what was going on in their heads, what thoughts were they thinking. Finally the little girl woke up. Something came over me and I wanted to shout, "she woke up!" As if to say, she's been in a coma forever and it was a surprise that she woke up. Then I thought, if she can do it, so can Cooper. He made a few noises here and there but still slept silently. I anxiously watched the clock waiting for that magic time of 10:30 when we could wake him up. When the time arrived I wondered, "why is the nurse way over there when it's time to wake up my child? Get over her NOW lady!" I didn't want to be to obtrusive and interfere with the nurse's job, so I didn't. I was nervous and anxious about waking up Cooper. What if he didn't wake up. But as quickly as that thought entered my mind it went away as he slowly opened his eyes. Relief! Everything was going to be alright. The rest of my story maybe a little fuzzy in my mind because I was just so excited and happy to have him 1. awake and 2. looking at me and saying mommy. I quickly picked him up and gave him a huge hug. I had never wanted to hug him more. Hugs and kisses and then he reached for daddy. I was actually ok with this, just happy he was awake.
As I sat there in my rocking chair watching Paul hold Cooper helping him drink a sip or two, Paul and I acted as if we were hearing Cooper talk and seeing him move around for the first time. Our laughs were bold and boisterous almost sounding fake. Cooper was very entertaining at this moment, still half-way sedated, appearing as if he was drunk. After having a significant amount of juice and a few graham crackers we packed up and headed home. During the ride home Cooper was mellow but alert and happy. He drank all the rest of the juice from the hospital and wanted more so we had to stop and pick some up. He ate a few crackers along the way as he looked out the window and pointed out the cars, trucks, and buses. I was kind of glad he didn't fall asleep because then there would have been no chance for another nap when we got home.
We were finally home and all Cooper wanted to do was walk around. No eating, sleeping, or even watching Sesame Street. This was a problem because he was still disoriented and had no balance at all. Normally Cooper loves to have daddy walk him around everywhere, but today he was having none of that. He wouldn't let mommy or daddy touch him at all. As much as we tried to keep Cooper from walking around the more he wanted to do it. He kept running into walls and falling down everywhere. We tried to get him to at least sit down, but even then he would fall over. He was so tired, confused and frustrated about what was happening to him. Poor little boy. Finally after being home for a few hours Paul was able to get Cooper to take a nap. Thank you Paul! I jumped at the opportunity to take a nap myself. About two hours later, Cooper and I awoke feeling rested and ready to play. Cooper's balance was better but he still needed to be watched closely so he didn't fall and hurt himself. Cooper didn't eat much dinner and was ready for bed at about 8:00. I am finally glad that today is over. Tomorrow Cooper should be back to normal, ready to laugh, scream, run, jump and play.
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